Too Sensitive?

Most of the time I would say my husband is truly a thoughtful and sensitive person. But sometimes he too shows a not so nice color....like on Saturday night...but it got me thinking if maybe I am TOO sensitive.

So you know we're a big netflix couple...we prefer to watch movies and tv shows at home instead of spending a ridiculous amount of money going to the movies but lately we haven't been too sure of what to put in the queue. We're all caught up with Entourage and Mad Men and haven't gotten into any new shows. So I was absent-mindly going through new releases and saw "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo." 

I haven't read the book but haven't been living under a rock...I would always see folks on the train with the book and knew and it was a best-seller. Plus I remember seeing a review for it in a cab when it came out in the theatres and the movie review guy seemed to dig it...  So I added it to the queue.

I was a little aprehensive because I do not like violent or scary movies but do understand that if I limited myself to violent-free movies I'd miss out on the majority of movies with good story lines and plots and thus only watch pitiful romantic comedies. So I figured let's give it a go.

Ok, I had NO IDEA WHAT I WAS GETTING MYSELF INTO. 

Yes, it was a good movie in terms of suspense and plot I suppose-I totally get why it was a best-seller but I can't HANDLE these kind of movies.

Violence is one thing. Like I could totally handle "Inglourious Basterds" another good movie. It was violent but satirical and you can easily close your eyes during the really bad scenes but "the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" totally different ball game. 

Two words. Sexual violence.  Here are two other words for you. CAN'T HANDLE.

There were some really explicit scenes in this movie which I will not go into detail but they were HORRIBLE. The first scene was bad but I sat through it...the next one was much more violent and I got upset. I get that it has to do with the plot and character building and blah blah blah but on a Saturday night when you are watching a movie to be entertained no SCRATCH THAT...under no circumstances can I think of any desire to sit down and willingly watch a woman be abused in such a horrible and disgusting manner.

So anyway I got upset-told hubs I can't watch this..can you at least fast forward it..and yes we have a really bad remote and he gets frustrated using it but he GOT ANNOYED WITH ME!  Can you believe it? The remote of course didn't respond because it never does and I got up to leave the room.  Annoyed that he's annoyed and not moving fast enough in MY opinion to get this horrible scene out of my living room I snippily (is that a word) say, "can you at least turn the volume down."

AND THEN HE RESPONDED, "it's just a movie" in like a really huffy puffy voice.

Are you kidding me??? Great I thought now we're going to get in a fight because now it my duty as a woman and as a wife to set him straight.

Yes, it's a movie but hello it's a rape scene and violence against women is real and happens and HE SHOULD BE MORE SENSITIVE.

From the bathroom I calmly told him he should've taken a women's study classs in college instead of learning how to play golf and tennis and started spewing out things I remembered from my women's studies class.

He got the remote to work and I could tell he felt really bad and so we moved on. I ended up watching the rest of the movie but it was definitely violent and we had to watch two episodes of "The Office" on the laptop in bed afterwards to try to shake off the dark movie. I would not recommend to anyone and would be curious to see what other women's take on the movie is.

Am I too sensitive?

A few years ago, traveling for work I was stuck at the airport and decided to buy a book. I decided to pick up "Lovely Bones" because it said best seller on it and I had seen a few people reading it lately. Figured it was good. Again-HAD NO IDEA WHAT I WAS GETTING MYSELF INTO.  I remember distinctly, the girl at the check out gushed over the book, said it was soo good.

Um....the book opens with violent rape scene and murder of  A LITTLE GIRL. I felt sick to my stomach. I finished the book and could appreciate it but would never had picked it up had I known what it was really about. I guess literary folks smarter than me would give me some spiel about it being about the characters and their response to loss..but don't want to read through a girl suffering that way.

I've never been the victim of violence-sexual or otherwise...(and I am dearly thankful for that) but seem to be super sensitive to this stuff.

Clearly other people can get past these violent scenes to appreciate the book or the movie. Remember it was a woman that gushed about the book to me. And there's a whole TV show dedicated to solving "sexually based offenses" that apparently is a big hit; "Law and Order: Special Victims Unit"

During my overnight stay at the hospital last week I shared a room with an older woman. We spoke briefly through the curtain that separated us and even though I was there less than 24 hours could tell she was a very kind lady. Well this kind lady watched nothing but Law and Order: SVU.  She loved it and maybe the nurse was just making small talk but she seemed to be a fan too. All I could to myself is why on earth would you want to watch such a dark program...isn't being in a hospital BAD ENOUGH?

Clearly, other people can handle this kind of stuff. I'd hate to think that I am some naive woman that only wants to see the world through rose-colored glasses. I get that bad, ugly things happen out there and I pray that those bad, ugly things stay far away from me and my loved ones. But I for one am looking forward to watching the next movie in our queue...."Diary of a Wimpy Kid."

You've Got Mail

Yesterday we received our first Christmas card of the season and it totally made my day.

(Of course it's from my good friend, Ginny but then of course I would expect nothing less from Ginny) 

I LOVE getting Christmas cards. I think there's something so festive and romantic about getting a holiday card in the mail.

Knowing that I was going to be stuck in the house after my surgery I made a quick run last week to buy some Christmas cards to send during my recovery but then I made the mistake of spending a good hour on the computer looking at some of the adorable and creative holiday cards out there and kinda regret my purchases.

These are some of my favorites:

From  Snow & Graham

I totally dig the whole aqua blue and brown thing.

And for those of you (ahem Julie) that love the aqua blue and red combo....

And what is it about birds!! love the cute birds. This is from etsy seller Monkey Mind Design

I especially love city holiday scenes. I remember visiting my then boyfriend now husband during December during our several years of long distance and thinking there is no better place to feel the holidays than in New York.

It's walking past the Christmas tree stands and all the beautifully decorated store fronts that really puts you in the mood.



This is from etsy seller sancynam

And one more from Snow & Graham

Now as the girl that has been married for a good two years now but faithfully loves to check out wedding photos and engagement photos from photographer's blogs I think there's nothing better than putting to good use those beautiful e-pics in a holiday card. Like these from Tiny Prints

 

But my all time FAVORITE photo holiday card is THIS one. 

Totally adorable,  totally creative and TOTALLY wanted to COPY.

(I'm not sure if everyone would agree but I believe that imitation is the best form of flattery and I would've totally been a copy cat if my work schedule and surgery hadn't gotten in the way and I guess more importantly if  I could've gotten my husband to cooperate)

Anyway check out the blog. This is actually their Christmas card from last year and I'm eagerly awaiting to see what they came up for this year.

Anyway...HAPPY HOLIDAYS...I'm about to put on some Alvin and Chipmunks Christmas carols on  and try to be content as I send out my 40% off Christmas card I found at the last minute.

Post Surgery

Surgery is no joke. Sure it looks like all fun and games on Grey's Anatomy but when it's you on the table under the knife..it's a whole different ball game.  But after what seems like months and months of back and forth I finally had surgery to remove my thyroid.

And I have to admit I am freaking out a bit wondering if I've made the right choice. Although going into this I knew there was no easy solution or answer.  I knew any decision I made could have serious negative outcomes.

Millions suffer from a thyroid problem and it's a big deal because your thyroid controls a lot of important stuff in your body; your metabolism, your energy level and a whole slew of things. I was diagnosed with a thyroid problem a zillion years ago at the young age of 14. And thankfully, for the most part I have been absolutely fine. My thyroid was overactive and other than when I first got sick I didn't really suffer from the low energy levels that so many people, especially women suffer from.

Unfortunately, my thyroid never went into remission on it's own and so I've been on medicine for my thyroid for 15 plus years. Doctors don't really dig this. I guess this medicine was not intended for long term use but I felt fine and didn't see why I needed to change anything until BABIES came up.

Yes, babies. suddenly it's a whole different ball game. What's fine for me is not fine for another little human being that you are responsible for. And so began this long journey about what to do about my thyroid.

It has not been a pretty journey. I've spent countless of hours scaring the beejeezus out of myself reading stuff on the internet, I've burst into tears in doctor's offices more times than I'd like to admit and gone back and forth on my decision it seemed like every other day.

From what I could gather the general consensus is that it's easier to control being hypothyroid (having an under active thyroid) when you're pregnant than being hyperthyroid (having an overactive thyroid).

I chose to get my thyroid surgically removed for a few different reasons. One being my eyes.  Overactive thyroidism also known as Graves Disease finds all sorts of ways to mess with you and one way is attacking the glands behind your eyes. The result is your eyes sometimes protrude. I suffer from this already a little bit and didn't want to risk my eyes getting any worse. There's evidence that surgery reduces risk of your eyes getting worse. Of course there's the alternative scar on your neck but figured I'd rather have a scar on my neck than Marty Feldman eyes.

There's also, time. You can "kill" your thyroid by taking a radioactive iodine pill-relatively risk free,  not evasive but  you have to wait 6 months to a year before trying to conceive. I know a year is not a super long time to wait but here's the thing I am so ready to start building our family now; plus, I'm no spring-chicken and besides radioactive treatment just scares me. It'd be one thing if I had the luxury of waiting a few years but one year between radioactive treatment and having a baby was just a little too close for comfort...for us at least.

And thus my decision for the surgery. I can't believe I actually went through with it.

It's only been a few days. I had my surgery on Friday but I'm already freaking out. What if I'm not the same? What if I become really lethargic and gain a lot of weight. The whole point of doing this was to do the healthiest and safest thing for having babies...what if I end up being unhealthier than when I started?

I'm telling myself this scary looking scar will go away with time and that it's nothing a pretty scarf can't handle but I'd be lying if I told you I've been avoiding the mirrors in our place like the plague.

I just want to feel like my normal self  again. I want to be healthy and happy.  Patience has never been my thing...

She works hard for her money and THEY DON'T TREAT HER RIGHT

I have been on the road for the past three days for work. We are finally shooting a story that I've been workng on since I started this gig back in September. Three days doesn't seem like long, but when you've only had three to four hours of sleep max every night for the past five days and call times at five in the morning...BREAK DOWNS HAPPEN.

If I wasn't so exhausted I could write blog after blog about how M.I.S.E.R.A.B.LE. shooting for this show is, how disenfranchised I feel about my career, this job and the joys of dealing with cranky jerks and next time you scream, "tape change" and look at me like i'm not moving fast enough I may go ape on your a$%.

But I am tired and it's only midnight so I might get more than five hours of sleep if I hurry up. But I wanted to share with you (um my sole reader) what a pelican brief is.

First time my annoying crew told me to grab something from the pelican brief I was like, whatcha talking about willis? I guess it makes sense. pelican..travel....equipment.

But anyway I'm not too concerned about saving the equipment I'm more concerned about my poor hands.

My fingers are raw, RAW I TELL YOU!  do you have any idea how hard it is to open and close these things? Do you know how many nails I've broken? And no I'm not a "oh  my god I broke a nail kinda girl" but opening and closing these things break my nails in ways that are painful and NOT normal. My hands are painfully raw.

So I challenge you, my only reader, go find yourself a pelican brief and try to open and close it a few times and maybe you'll see why I HATE THIS JOB!

Corduroy Happy

So this morning my husband and I are watching "Sunday Morning" on CBS as we typically do on Sundays.  (I love this show-I would die to work for this show-please.hire.me) And Bill Geist is doing a story on corduroy-you know as in the FABRIC.

And even I was like, really? Corduroy? Apparently, there's even a Corduroy Appreciation Club.  Just to attend the annual meeting you must be wearing at least two pieces of corduroy just to attend. Check out the video.

Who would've known??? right? The hubs and I were like some people have too much time on their hands.

But then I went to Banana Republic.

I don't know what happened-I went CORDUROY CRAZY. 

Bought two corduroy pieces!

I admit the picture doesn't do it justice but it's so soft and cozy and a really good, good creamy white. I got  mine a little more fitted and think it will go great with jeans and boots.

And this corduroy blazer.

Totally attending next year's corduroy meeting.

  

Return Policy

I have a tendency to make purchases and instantaneously regret my purchase. Usually, I regret it the moment I'm swiping my credit card. Therefore, I spend a lot of time returning things. Not that I really go around shopping but I made the mistake of mentioning that I wanted some new eye make-up to my sister, Christy also known as "never met a purchase she didn't like."

Of course she suggests going to the Bobbi Brown make-up counter at Lord & Taylor's. Because Bobbi Brown is totally not in my budget so it makes all the sense in the world.

I truly believe sale ladies are nicer to Chris. It's like she release some kind of scent only they can smell that screams, "I will buy, I will buy!"

So of course the nice, beautiful make-up counter lady offered to do our makeup and of course I was happy to oblige because I was truly hoping I'd look as pretty as her once she was done. Well folks, Bobbi Brown make-up is good but it ain't that good.

Sitting in the chair I started to get anxious...I know the deal. Getting your make-up done by a make-up artist at the mall or at Sephora or at a Mary-Kay party is kind of like ordering lobster on a first-date....they're gonna expect you to put out. The pretty make-up lady wasn't taking the time to do my entire face out of the goodness of her heart. She wanted a sale.

I was not planning on spending a lot of  money. I wanted to spend maybe 20 bucks on some new eye-shadow because Kath, my younger sister said I was using all the wrong colors on my eyes and of course I always listen to her.

And of course, I would feel like a complete jerk if I didn't buy SOMETHING but the eye-shadow she used on me was in one of those darn palette thingies so it cost 45 bucks. FORTY-FIVE BUCKS ON EYE-SHADOW. I swear I'm not cheap-I'm just PRACTICAL. Do I really need to spend 45 bucks on this?

I've watched Oprah's debt diet-I already knew the answer. No!

Anyway, I felt suckered to purchase the eye-shadow which I wasn't even really sure I liked and it came out to about 50 bucks with tax and all. And I'm even  more annoyed because I still do not look as good as pretty, make-up counter lady.

So the make-up has been sitting with the receipt in the shopping bag for the past two weeks waiting to be returned. I've been dreading returning it.

The only time I can return it is on the weekends which go as fast as lightning and the last thing I want to do is take the train to 42nd Street and walk to Lord & Taylor's to return this oh-so-pretty make-up but oh-so over-priced for my life.

 See, isn't it it pretty?

But that's not the point. The point is there's more affordable versions of this make-up out there and the real problem here is that there's a good chance that pretty make-up lady will be working and I will have to face her.  She will hate me because she spent 30  minutes on me just to turn around and return it. If I wasn't such a wuss I would never be in this situation in the first place-I would have politely declined the purchase two weeks ago and said I'll have to think about it.
 
And yes, folks she was there last night and yes, she remembered me. 

I quickly revert to Plan B.

I will say that I want to EXCHANGE it for a different eye-shadow-no palette just a shadow. It's a win-win situation. She still get a sale albeit not 50 bucks but I'm back to my original 20 dollar budget and I have a new eye-shadow. I even knew the name of the shadow because I played with  Christy's make-up.

Guess what? They don't make that damn shade anymore and they're busy and she's in the middle of doing someone's face so she tells me to go shopping and come back in 15 minutes and she'll help me find something similar.

But I don't want to go shopping. I want to go HOME. I haven't eaten all day and I've already been waiting for 15 minutes cowering in the corner hoping to get the OTHER sales lady's attention to make my return.

At this point I hate myself. The smell of the perfumes at the nearby counters is starting to make my headache from not eating even worse. Fine, I will wander around the store and with each minute that passes I get more and more angry with myself. She will try to sell me another palette. Then what???

Why can't the city of New York have two Lord&Taylor locations locations so these problems can be avoided???

I come back after my 15 minutes are up. She is still doing make-up. I can't wait any longer. NO EYE SHADOW IS WORTH THIS!  Finally the other sales lady finishes helping another customer and I make my return.

I was in direct sight of petty make-up lady the ENTIRE TIME AT THE REGISTER.

She probably hates her job because of people like me.

fantasy confession

It took today's winner of the NYC Marathon 2 hours, 8 minutes and 14 seconds to run 26 miles. Let's think about this people-TWENTY-SIX miles.  That's a lot of miles to run let alone walk. I think I'm doing good if I get two miles on the treadmill in twenty-five MINUTES.

I am in awe of these marathon runners and it's a big deal in our household. Not that either of us have ever run a marathon but ever since I moved to New York the hubs and I have always checked out the marathon.

I love it-not really the race part but the cheering part. I love the moment when friends and family members spot their marathon runner and go crazy and start jumping up and down with their signs of encouraging words or even better and this is my favorite-there's a cute baby involved and the baby is thrust up and down in the air while marathon runner runs by grinning from ear to ear. LOVE IT.

I should also mention that I have a secret fantasy of scoring the winning goal in the Women's World Cup. (No, I don't play soccer)

Remember this moment?

Ok, in my fantasy I do not take my jersey off.

Also, I have different versions of my fantasy. And it's not always soccer. Sometimes it's tennis. (No, I do not play tennis)

Sometimes, I jump in the air immediately with my arms in the air, other times I collapse to the floor because I am SO exhausted and of course, in disbelief because I am a humble athlete not a cocky one.

But always there is the celebratory hug-which is why I seem to prefer the soccer fantasy because there's other teammates involved to hug. 

I will always watch the end of the world series with my husband and no, I don't play or even really enjoy baseball but it's oh so worth it when the team finally wins and they all run out to the field and hug and jump and good lord don't you just feel the love.

I swear in my next life I'm going to be the next Mary Lou Retton.