Potty Diaries

It seems like every mom out there with a two-year-old is in the throes of potty training. And I'm all like, "What's the big rush?" Sure, changing diapers isn't exactly my idea of a good time and yes, I'm tired of spending money on diapers but seriously ya'll, potty training scares the bejesus out of me. 

Even the whole lingo associated with these bodily functions offends me greatly and I can't figure out what words to teach Buttercup. I cannot stand the word pee pee or pee.  Potty is ok, so is poop but what do you call number 1? Will calling it number one and number 2 confuse her when it comes to counting?

I felt like these were things I needed to sort out before embarking on this journey. Except I never really had the chance. I had been talking about going potty and how she's too big for diapers. We've been reading books, watching cartoons and I guess it sunk in. One evening out on a walk, BC declared with great gusto and authority, "no more diapers!" And I felt like I couldn't really pass up on this possible momentum. 

So there I was, like all the other moms of two-year-olds, barricaded inside the house with a bare-bottomed toddler. The first day wasn't fun, that's for sure. I almost broke my back when I ran into the bathroom and slipped on a puddle of "number 1." (I ain't writing out the word pee again, sorry; except wait, I just did) It's gotten better and dare I say, it wasn't that bad and BC seems to have number 1 down. I'll spare you the details of number 2.

But even so, as a mom of a semi potty-trained toddler, I'm here to declare that I don't think being out of diapers is all it's cracked up to be. As if I don't think I nag and repeat myself enough, now I get to add, "do you need to go to the potty?" to my list of "constant things I repeat over and over all day long"

And I swear my kid can go forever without going to the potty if we are at home. The second we are in a situation that involves a foreign toilet she's got to go.right.now. 

I personally avoid public restrooms at all costs. I have visited more public restrooms these past few weeks than I'm really comfortable with. And what is up with their need to touch everything?!  It's like their brains hear you screaming, "don't touch anything!" But they interpret it as, "touch all the things, touch all the things in this public germ fest!!!!"

I know I'll get through this and it's not like I could've kept her in diapers forever but sometimes diapers don't look so bad.