She works hard for her money and THEY DON'T TREAT HER RIGHT

I have been on the road for the past three days for work. We are finally shooting a story that I've been workng on since I started this gig back in September. Three days doesn't seem like long, but when you've only had three to four hours of sleep max every night for the past five days and call times at five in the morning...BREAK DOWNS HAPPEN.

If I wasn't so exhausted I could write blog after blog about how M.I.S.E.R.A.B.LE. shooting for this show is, how disenfranchised I feel about my career, this job and the joys of dealing with cranky jerks and next time you scream, "tape change" and look at me like i'm not moving fast enough I may go ape on your a$%.

But I am tired and it's only midnight so I might get more than five hours of sleep if I hurry up. But I wanted to share with you (um my sole reader) what a pelican brief is.

First time my annoying crew told me to grab something from the pelican brief I was like, whatcha talking about willis? I guess it makes sense. pelican..travel....equipment.

But anyway I'm not too concerned about saving the equipment I'm more concerned about my poor hands.

My fingers are raw, RAW I TELL YOU!  do you have any idea how hard it is to open and close these things? Do you know how many nails I've broken? And no I'm not a "oh  my god I broke a nail kinda girl" but opening and closing these things break my nails in ways that are painful and NOT normal. My hands are painfully raw.

So I challenge you, my only reader, go find yourself a pelican brief and try to open and close it a few times and maybe you'll see why I HATE THIS JOB!

Corduroy Happy

So this morning my husband and I are watching "Sunday Morning" on CBS as we typically do on Sundays.  (I love this show-I would die to work for this show-please.hire.me) And Bill Geist is doing a story on corduroy-you know as in the FABRIC.

And even I was like, really? Corduroy? Apparently, there's even a Corduroy Appreciation Club.  Just to attend the annual meeting you must be wearing at least two pieces of corduroy just to attend. Check out the video.

Who would've known??? right? The hubs and I were like some people have too much time on their hands.

But then I went to Banana Republic.

I don't know what happened-I went CORDUROY CRAZY. 

Bought two corduroy pieces!

I admit the picture doesn't do it justice but it's so soft and cozy and a really good, good creamy white. I got  mine a little more fitted and think it will go great with jeans and boots.

And this corduroy blazer.

Totally attending next year's corduroy meeting.

  

Return Policy

I have a tendency to make purchases and instantaneously regret my purchase. Usually, I regret it the moment I'm swiping my credit card. Therefore, I spend a lot of time returning things. Not that I really go around shopping but I made the mistake of mentioning that I wanted some new eye make-up to my sister, Christy also known as "never met a purchase she didn't like."

Of course she suggests going to the Bobbi Brown make-up counter at Lord & Taylor's. Because Bobbi Brown is totally not in my budget so it makes all the sense in the world.

I truly believe sale ladies are nicer to Chris. It's like she release some kind of scent only they can smell that screams, "I will buy, I will buy!"

So of course the nice, beautiful make-up counter lady offered to do our makeup and of course I was happy to oblige because I was truly hoping I'd look as pretty as her once she was done. Well folks, Bobbi Brown make-up is good but it ain't that good.

Sitting in the chair I started to get anxious...I know the deal. Getting your make-up done by a make-up artist at the mall or at Sephora or at a Mary-Kay party is kind of like ordering lobster on a first-date....they're gonna expect you to put out. The pretty make-up lady wasn't taking the time to do my entire face out of the goodness of her heart. She wanted a sale.

I was not planning on spending a lot of  money. I wanted to spend maybe 20 bucks on some new eye-shadow because Kath, my younger sister said I was using all the wrong colors on my eyes and of course I always listen to her.

And of course, I would feel like a complete jerk if I didn't buy SOMETHING but the eye-shadow she used on me was in one of those darn palette thingies so it cost 45 bucks. FORTY-FIVE BUCKS ON EYE-SHADOW. I swear I'm not cheap-I'm just PRACTICAL. Do I really need to spend 45 bucks on this?

I've watched Oprah's debt diet-I already knew the answer. No!

Anyway, I felt suckered to purchase the eye-shadow which I wasn't even really sure I liked and it came out to about 50 bucks with tax and all. And I'm even  more annoyed because I still do not look as good as pretty, make-up counter lady.

So the make-up has been sitting with the receipt in the shopping bag for the past two weeks waiting to be returned. I've been dreading returning it.

The only time I can return it is on the weekends which go as fast as lightning and the last thing I want to do is take the train to 42nd Street and walk to Lord & Taylor's to return this oh-so-pretty make-up but oh-so over-priced for my life.

 See, isn't it it pretty?

But that's not the point. The point is there's more affordable versions of this make-up out there and the real problem here is that there's a good chance that pretty make-up lady will be working and I will have to face her.  She will hate me because she spent 30  minutes on me just to turn around and return it. If I wasn't such a wuss I would never be in this situation in the first place-I would have politely declined the purchase two weeks ago and said I'll have to think about it.
 
And yes, folks she was there last night and yes, she remembered me. 

I quickly revert to Plan B.

I will say that I want to EXCHANGE it for a different eye-shadow-no palette just a shadow. It's a win-win situation. She still get a sale albeit not 50 bucks but I'm back to my original 20 dollar budget and I have a new eye-shadow. I even knew the name of the shadow because I played with  Christy's make-up.

Guess what? They don't make that damn shade anymore and they're busy and she's in the middle of doing someone's face so she tells me to go shopping and come back in 15 minutes and she'll help me find something similar.

But I don't want to go shopping. I want to go HOME. I haven't eaten all day and I've already been waiting for 15 minutes cowering in the corner hoping to get the OTHER sales lady's attention to make my return.

At this point I hate myself. The smell of the perfumes at the nearby counters is starting to make my headache from not eating even worse. Fine, I will wander around the store and with each minute that passes I get more and more angry with myself. She will try to sell me another palette. Then what???

Why can't the city of New York have two Lord&Taylor locations locations so these problems can be avoided???

I come back after my 15 minutes are up. She is still doing make-up. I can't wait any longer. NO EYE SHADOW IS WORTH THIS!  Finally the other sales lady finishes helping another customer and I make my return.

I was in direct sight of petty make-up lady the ENTIRE TIME AT THE REGISTER.

She probably hates her job because of people like me.

fantasy confession

It took today's winner of the NYC Marathon 2 hours, 8 minutes and 14 seconds to run 26 miles. Let's think about this people-TWENTY-SIX miles.  That's a lot of miles to run let alone walk. I think I'm doing good if I get two miles on the treadmill in twenty-five MINUTES.

I am in awe of these marathon runners and it's a big deal in our household. Not that either of us have ever run a marathon but ever since I moved to New York the hubs and I have always checked out the marathon.

I love it-not really the race part but the cheering part. I love the moment when friends and family members spot their marathon runner and go crazy and start jumping up and down with their signs of encouraging words or even better and this is my favorite-there's a cute baby involved and the baby is thrust up and down in the air while marathon runner runs by grinning from ear to ear. LOVE IT.

I should also mention that I have a secret fantasy of scoring the winning goal in the Women's World Cup. (No, I don't play soccer)

Remember this moment?

Ok, in my fantasy I do not take my jersey off.

Also, I have different versions of my fantasy. And it's not always soccer. Sometimes it's tennis. (No, I do not play tennis)

Sometimes, I jump in the air immediately with my arms in the air, other times I collapse to the floor because I am SO exhausted and of course, in disbelief because I am a humble athlete not a cocky one.

But always there is the celebratory hug-which is why I seem to prefer the soccer fantasy because there's other teammates involved to hug. 

I will always watch the end of the world series with my husband and no, I don't play or even really enjoy baseball but it's oh so worth it when the team finally wins and they all run out to the field and hug and jump and good lord don't you just feel the love.

I swear in my next life I'm going to be the next Mary Lou Retton.