can't live with him, could never live without him

What is wrong with my husband falling asleep watching football on a Sunday evening?

nothing, except that while he naps, I'M SLAVING AWAY WORKING ON HIS RESUME-that's what!

I get it. There's nothing worse than working on your resume and when you have a pretty decent job already-there's not much incentive.

But a few weeks ago my cousin's girlfriend called and said there were a few openings at her job in DC! As in back HOME!  She kindly sent the hubs the job posting and told her to send his resume to her. Hubs took one look at the job description and said, "whoa, that job looks hard." Does he bother to write her back? No. Wifey not happy but wifey has a lot on her plate and doesn't have as much time as she'd like to nag dear husband about these important details.

Well fast forward to last night my aunt calling and ME getting in trouble for HIS actions. Can you believe it?

Sigh, I can't be too mad at him though. Because this is my husband helping me do research at the library all day yesterday for a story I am working on.

Yes, microfilm. I thought I was done with this back in college. Apparently not.

You got off easy this time, my friend, next time you might not fair so well.

Mad Women

Validation is VERY important (well at least to me) and today after annoying girl left...I got mine.

Looks like I'm not the only one that annoying girl has been annoying! I don't even know how it came up because I know I would never just come right out and say it but it did.

And it is confirmed-annoying girl is an arrogant, too big for her britches brat!

I know it sounds a little evil but the truth is- it was glorious! The bonding that comes from a united cause. In this case me and  my co-worker against annoying girl.


Which made me think of Peggy and Joan.

It was perhaps the best moment of the season finale of Mad Men the scene when two women with two very different agenda suddenly bond because they both feel slighted.

You can read all about it and watch the video clip here.

Anyway validation is great and I wanna be Joan.

annoying girl

From the moment she walked in I had my suspicions….

Maybe it was because I caught her looking me up and down on her first day when I walked past her desk. The inner black woman in me wanted to snap, “Don’t look at me!”

(I had just caught the end of Big Momma’s House over the weekend)

I wouldn't like this girl.

Once she started talking…totally confirmed it.

On her second day she proclaimed "I come from the something-something family” as in some supposedly prestigious family and I just about puked. I don't see how her having the same blood line as some uppity-up helps us AT ALL.

My irritation with her grew when she started pontificating about proper placement of commas to our series producer.  I wasn't privy to the details but she was saying the comma should be placed outside the quotation mark.  Now I'm no grammar queen; in fact, my grammar sucks but seriously comma outside the quotation marks?

And who talks to their boss in that “I'm right and you're wrong” superior tone on their first week on the job?  (By the way our boss is super duber smart and no, my boss did not change the placement of the comma)

But folks, the truth of the matter is--she IS smarter than me. She's strategic and evil and in the corporate world her arrogance gets translated into success. Trust me I’ve seen her type. She got me right where she wanted me. And it makes me so angry with myself.

She literally cornered me. Since she asks so many freakin’ questions she knows we both take the same train home. It was late on Friday-I was wrapping up and couldn't help but notice she was too. Knowing the last thing I wanted to do was make small talk after an exhausting week I tried to avoid walking out with her. She looked about ready so I made a beeline for the bathroom. I thought I was safe but as I'm making my way back down the hallway, there she was waiting by the elevator.  

Annoying Girl: Want me to wait for you?

Me: Oh, I don’t want to make you wait. I’m still logged in and all..,

Annoying Girl: Oh no! I don’t mind at all.

Why didn't I say no? Why didn't I say I had an email to send out?  

No, of course not-that wouldn't be nice.

Stupid, stupid me.

 So I had to endure a whole train ride from Soho to

Columbus Circle

with annoying girl.

Here's the deal, she was casing me! She was waiting for the right moment to get me alone make like we're buddies just so she could get try to get my deal, figure me out. And I like the big idiot I am handed it right to her.

I couldn’t believe it-we hadn't gotten out the front door and she already asked me how I got the job and did I interview for it? How long was my contract? WHO IS THIS GIRL?

I did not handle it well. And this isn't the first time. I get so upset and really defensive when people start asking me interview-like questions especially when it's obvious it’s all in an effort to take my responses and label me.

Where did you go to school?

Where do you work?

What do you want to do?

Augh! I can't stand it and yes, now that I've had a few days to think about it; I now realize  it's my fragile self that gets the best of me. It is the fragile part of me that hasn't fully recovered from being laid off. It is the part of me that questions if I'm good enough to make it in this industry and is still struggling to figure out what she wants to do with her life.

Don’t get me wrong annoying girl is definitely annoying.

But if I felt secure in my abilities and actually enjoyed the work I’m doing in this gosh darn job-her drilling and annoying questions wouldn’t faze me.

But they do-because honestly I think I’d rather be baking cupcakes and decorating them as pumpkins than working on a show that I know doesn’t match my strengths.

And yes, I am clearly still trying to figure out what those “strengths” are.

hired but kinda wishing I get fired....

In high school I had a teacher read my palm. I can't remember her name to save my  life. I think she taught psychology or was it social studies...  I remember she had the lyrics to the Eagles on her wall, "Don't let the sound of your own wheels drive you crazy...."

CLEARLY, I went to a very serious and studious high school.

It was one of those lazy afternoons when you know you're supposed to be working in groups or independent study i.e. teacher reads students palms.

I remember this so vividly she said something along the lines of you'll have a job but it won't be the center of your life-you'll work but your family and friends will be more important.

Well here I am a good 14 years later and thinking crazy Eagle-loving psych 101 teacher knew what she was talking about.

Maybe I'm making excuses and selling out and maybe I just haven't found the right career but I think it's darn clear that I'm not in the right job.

It's not that I don't like to work. I like leaving the house and actually putting on make-up and I like walking to the train station with all the other "workers" but I hate how quality of life goes out the window once you're on payroll.

I believe balance is the key to happiness. You know ying and yang. But there's no ying and yang in sight.

It's not eight hours. It's ten plus hours. It's not five days a weeks. It's now two Saturdays in a row where I've had to work. 

Working out-out the window. Back in August,  Jillian and her 30-day shred and I had a date everyday. I FEEL the jeans starting to get tighter. sigh.

And I worry so much. The tension in my neck is so thick I think I'm developing a permament lump. I'm so friggin tired but can't sleep because I'm so stressed out.

Why does it have to be all or nothing. Why is it so hard to find a job you enjoy and earn an honest living and can still have a life?

back home

Our European holiday is over.

I can't believe we went to London, Paris, Venice and Barcelona.

I can't believe I have to go back to work tomorrow.

London already seems so far away.

Four cities in two weeks is a lot to take in and I wouldn't recommend such a grueling pace to anyone.

But it feels like a secret journey only my husband and I shared and that makes it feel even more special.

Without missing a beat we both turned to each other and chirped "holAH" after that adorable two-year old on the plane starting chanting "hola" just the way the shopkeepers and waiters do when they greet you in Barcelona.

We both speak Spanish but have never heard it said quite like this before. It's like they sing it and their voice goes up an octave at the end.

Did this cute kid pick it up on her vacation they way we did?

I hope I'll never forget how adorable my husband looked jumping out of the cab and trying in vain to chase after the bus after it took a really loong second for it to register when I said, "where's the red bag."

..or how we celebrated actually finding the red bag by drinking to the kindness of all Spaniards by getting properly and gloriously tipsy.

And I will always treasure how giddy we both got when we saw the Eiffel Tower sparkle for the first time on our two-year anniversary.  

I'll close this up with a verse from the children's book, "From the Mixed-up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler."

"The adventure is over. Everything gets over, and nothing is ever enough. 

Except the part you carry with you. 

It's the same as going on a vacation. Some people spend all their time on a vacation taking pictures so that when they get home they can show their friends evidence that they had a good time. 

They don't pause to let the vacation enter inside them and take that home."  

airport

*post written on Tuesday, September 21, 2010


When you're married to my husband you get to the airport really, really early...in case.. and this is a quote from him, "you get a flat tire on the way to the airport. "

And once we really did. The cab got a flat on the way to the airport. So now you can imagine he ALWAYS brings this up when we ever travel. By the way in case you're wondering we still made our flight that day even with a flat tire.

Anyway I'm excited. My grumpiness has faded. I'm going to London, Paris, Venice and Barcelona!!

Who cares if I don't know the history of every city or the name of every museum.

I am going to be walking the streets of some amazing cities with a man I fell in love with walking the streets of our beloved city; nyc.